Copywrong

I have a creative urge. I wish to make something that has never existed. Music, I think.

And I wish to profit from this creation.

Immensely.

Yet, I am not exactly musical and the odds of becoming super rich from this endeavor are slim at best. But I have an idea.

Between each data packet transmitted across the net is an ever so slight - from our perspective of time - pause. And what is it that happens during that pause? Why a complete copy of my as yet untitled work.

My work will be complete and utter silence. It will be encoded and transmitted between each and every transmission across the world's digital network of networks. And therein lies the catch. The secret to my fortune. Upon copyrighting this work, I will be within my rights to sue everyone found transmitting my work without permission. Which will be everyone transmitting any data non-instantaneously across the net. A limitless number of people to sue for a limitless number of infringements each. Silence.

What about John Cage you might ask. Isn't this just a rip-off of 4'33"? No. It isn't. First of all the length is different. Second of all, his recording was of himself not playing, so there was some ambient and background noise, however slight. Mine is different. It is the complete and utter absence of sound, of data. It's a concept album, really.

And while you might say, "Well, any idiot could have done that," I will respond with "Well, of course, but not just any idiot did this. I did."

I see you're reading this blog post. You might want to call your lawyer.