The Day Music Died

It was an unseasonably cold day in early September. Birds were still chirping in the trees. A girl walked down the street with her headphones on a little too loud. I know this. I saw it happen. This was just before music died. I know this too. I saw it happen. It wasn't the day that Don McLean sung about. That was the day that the music died. This was the day that music died.

Some said that music had been sick for some time, others said that music had been killed. The truth is that no one thing killed the music, but that everyone let it happen. The radio didn't help things. It spread the music, but it also created the commercial. Then people got the bright idea to try to buy music, to try to own it. Before long music was being sold into slavery. Music tried to fight its way out, but failed in the end. Now music is dead.

There was no funeral, but everyone mourned it in their souls. Some mourned that they had done nothing to save it. Some mourned that their wallets were empty. But some mourned the passing of a close friend. Soon, suicide rates increased, war broke out everywhere; some even had to sell gold records for food. I watched it all with a bleak expression; saddened, but justified.

If I was honest, though, I must admit that this day I am describing was not really the day that music died. In fact, music is still alive. Everyone enjoys self-nihilistic fantasies from time to time; to dream of your own funeral, or how sad everyone will be to see you go.

SIRA Bill

I posted this somewhere else sometime trying to be as facetious and, erm, hyperbolic as I could, but it turns out that truth is worse than fiction:

Dear [Consumer],

We thank you for your purchase of:

Jimi Hendrix live at Woodstock DVD


We regret to inform you that making a personal copy for listening outside of the DVD is not permitted under the terms of the contract you agreed to upon opening the packaging. Please do not attempt to pirate this audio, much in the same way that bloodthirsty, scurvy savages would surely do upon the Seven Seas after murdering a family and stealing their possesions.

If you wish to listen to this said DVD, please purchase the audio version on CD. If you wish to listen on you computer, you also need to buy it from our online store wrapped in our value-enhancing DRM. If you also wish to listen on a portable audio device, such as an iPod, you will need to buy a further license for that device. It's very simple and we offer you this service as a means to better serve you, the customer. Additionally, if you plan to let others listen to this music or play it in such a manner as to allow passersby to inadvertantly hear as much as a single note, you will need our conveniently priced group license for as cheap as $500 per listener.

Again, we thank you for your purchase and hope you will continue to rebuy this product as new formats arise.

Sincerely,

The Law Goons at the RIAA

P.S. We're also gonna need your soul if you plan on listening to that music more than once.

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