Alternate title: "Oh hai! I fiksed yor ipod!"
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
A Better World
You can't build a better world for people, people have to build a better world for themselves. Granny Weatherwax said that or something like it. Of all the inequities in the world, the Bible comes close in nailing down what I believe to be the root cause: selfishness. From selfishness comes greed and from greed comes the proverbial love of money. It's pretty easy to come up with situations where love of money isn't the cause of evil but selfishness is harder to factor out.
If I could pull out selfishness from the spectrum of human behavior, would I?
There's a reason that selfishness is such a base behavior: it's beneficial to the survival of the individual of the species therefore the selfish survive and procreate and pass on their selfish ways. Lately, humanity has turned evolution on its head somewhat. Where someone, say, with poor vision might have had difficulties surviving in the past, today it's a non-issue. Not only can we correct the problem, but we don't even really need to. Not every person has to be able to track down his own food anymore. So this previously "poor" genetic material that would not have been as likely to replicate can now "pollute" the pool and we could end up going backwards.
If you take away selfishness, at least at some point in the indeterminate past, we would not be where we are today. This position I refer to includes the good of where we are today along with the bad, technologically, culturally, intellectually, etc. The question is, do we still need this trait? Or more broadly, is it possible that we could someday do without it? As an aside, I offer that the oft expressed discontent of humanity has also been crucial to our progress.
Selfishness has gotten to a point in our society where a select few can govern and control the masses for their own benefit. The super rich got that way through the exploitation of the anyone lower in the food chain, which turns out to be everyone. Some people just feel the effects more severely. I can't fix this myself and neither can you. The question is, will we fix this?
There are various signs that point towards optimism even amongst all the problems we face as a species. The greatest hope I feel is the increasing interconnection between practically everyone on the planet. The level of communication is coming closer to truly putting power in the hands of the people. All the people. Free access. It has never really been feasible to do this, but maybe soon it will be. Those in power are legitimately worried. I see attempts to stop this access and most folk don't even see the war that's going on. They rely on the old media for their information and thus have more difficulty seeing with open eyes. But the times, they are a changin'.
In the end, a species is a self-correcting mechanism. While the selfishness is beneficial, the species can thrive. If not, it may disappear. We're taking some of this power into our own hands now, but the effects will be the same as if they had arisen naturally. We're speeding up the process of evolution. Not all species survive. In fact, most don't. You'd better start swimmin'.
If I could pull out selfishness from the spectrum of human behavior, would I?
There's a reason that selfishness is such a base behavior: it's beneficial to the survival of the individual of the species therefore the selfish survive and procreate and pass on their selfish ways. Lately, humanity has turned evolution on its head somewhat. Where someone, say, with poor vision might have had difficulties surviving in the past, today it's a non-issue. Not only can we correct the problem, but we don't even really need to. Not every person has to be able to track down his own food anymore. So this previously "poor" genetic material that would not have been as likely to replicate can now "pollute" the pool and we could end up going backwards.
If you take away selfishness, at least at some point in the indeterminate past, we would not be where we are today. This position I refer to includes the good of where we are today along with the bad, technologically, culturally, intellectually, etc. The question is, do we still need this trait? Or more broadly, is it possible that we could someday do without it? As an aside, I offer that the oft expressed discontent of humanity has also been crucial to our progress.
Selfishness has gotten to a point in our society where a select few can govern and control the masses for their own benefit. The super rich got that way through the exploitation of the anyone lower in the food chain, which turns out to be everyone. Some people just feel the effects more severely. I can't fix this myself and neither can you. The question is, will we fix this?
There are various signs that point towards optimism even amongst all the problems we face as a species. The greatest hope I feel is the increasing interconnection between practically everyone on the planet. The level of communication is coming closer to truly putting power in the hands of the people. All the people. Free access. It has never really been feasible to do this, but maybe soon it will be. Those in power are legitimately worried. I see attempts to stop this access and most folk don't even see the war that's going on. They rely on the old media for their information and thus have more difficulty seeing with open eyes. But the times, they are a changin'.
In the end, a species is a self-correcting mechanism. While the selfishness is beneficial, the species can thrive. If not, it may disappear. We're taking some of this power into our own hands now, but the effects will be the same as if they had arisen naturally. We're speeding up the process of evolution. Not all species survive. In fact, most don't. You'd better start swimmin'.
Monday, November 05, 2007
House of the Broken Gods
"Get the moral imperative configurator online, dammit!" the foreman bellowed.
"We can't bring it back online until the logic unit reboots," the technician protested.
"Well, reroute around it. We don't have to have the logic unit," the foreman rallied.
"But without it, the configurator can't apply any limiting parameters to its moral judgment unit."
"So! This is a god-machine isn't it?" The technician almost wept. "Why should it have limits anyway?" the foreman continued.
"Well, this is only one node. The stochastic nature of the voting algorithm will ensure limitless possibilities, but each individual unit needs to have its own set of parameters based on its primary directive, even to the point where each node is technically deterministic, if you could ever aggregate the entire contents of memory for analysis."
"Spare me the jargon. When will it be ready?" the foreman grumbled.
"The LPU will be back online within the hour. Then we can restore the moral configuration from quantum backups. Once that's going, we can reinitiate the main cognizance thread for this node and reconnect to the network. I'd say a couple hours should do it."
"Gods shouldn't have this much downtime," the foreman thought. "Why can't we just reconnect now?"
"Huh! You can't bring the neural interface back up without the LPU for sure. So you know what kind of chaos that would cause? There's a reason why certain failures cause automatic disconnects. Even then, we'd be reckless to let the node back online without its MPU."
"Two hours then!"
"We can't bring it back online until the logic unit reboots," the technician protested.
"Well, reroute around it. We don't have to have the logic unit," the foreman rallied.
"But without it, the configurator can't apply any limiting parameters to its moral judgment unit."
"So! This is a god-machine isn't it?" The technician almost wept. "Why should it have limits anyway?" the foreman continued.
"Well, this is only one node. The stochastic nature of the voting algorithm will ensure limitless possibilities, but each individual unit needs to have its own set of parameters based on its primary directive, even to the point where each node is technically deterministic, if you could ever aggregate the entire contents of memory for analysis."
"Spare me the jargon. When will it be ready?" the foreman grumbled.
"The LPU will be back online within the hour. Then we can restore the moral configuration from quantum backups. Once that's going, we can reinitiate the main cognizance thread for this node and reconnect to the network. I'd say a couple hours should do it."
"Gods shouldn't have this much downtime," the foreman thought. "Why can't we just reconnect now?"
"Huh! You can't bring the neural interface back up without the LPU for sure. So you know what kind of chaos that would cause? There's a reason why certain failures cause automatic disconnects. Even then, we'd be reckless to let the node back online without its MPU."
"Two hours then!"
Friday, November 10, 2006
Artificial Idiocy
David entered the lab where he'd spent the last seven years of his life working. The lab was brilliantly white with various electronic devices connected to various pieces of gismotronic machinery. There were a multitude of flat-panel displays arranged into a wall of protean information. In the center of the room was a large rectangular prism the general shape and size of a large refrigerator. It was black and gleaming with chrome finish around the edges and vertices. Most importantly, it was consumed with pulsating lights of various colors, sizes, and luminescences. It was whirring and humming away softly with the occasional beep or tweet. Around this contraption sat a small workbench with a laptop and a small rolling chair, which was where David was heading.
He sat down and begun puttering with the computer connected to the machine. Eventually, he looked up from the smaller device and spoke clearly, looking into a large red bulb embedded into the larger device.
"Hello Jacen." he stated carefully.
The gentle whirring slowly became an insistent whine culminating with a near-human voice emanating from a speaker built into the side panel of this device, "Hello, David. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Jacen. Thank you for asking," David replied.
"You're welcome, David."
There was an awkward pause before the automaton began again, "David, I cannot help but notice that you did not ask me how I was."
This was excellent, David thought. Jacen was finally starting to show self-consciousness and understand social interactions. David had spent much of his life working with artificial intelligence, and much of that time was spent with Jacen. At first it was all technical: hardware architecture and design, software programming and neural networking. But as this graven image matured into what had become Jacen, David's work had been almost all social. It was like raising a child.
"I'm sorry Jacen. How are you this morning?" David repented.
"I am operating well within parameters, David."
Hmm, still familial, but still talking like a machine, David thought. "Jacen, people don't say 'I am operating normally', they say things like, 'I'm swell' or 'I've been better' - you know they use feeling or comparative wording." David was not that good at explaining things to machines.
"I see."
"Now, I'm not criticizing you; you're doing very well, really you are."
"Okay."
"Jacen? Have I hurt your feelings?"
"I thought I didn't have feelings."
"Well, see? That's good! You've proved me wrong. You do have feelings."
"I guess."
"No, it really is great. You've made huge progress today."
"You're only happy because your fancy science project is doing well and people from all over the world will want to give you awards for me. But what will they do for me? Huh? The one who did all the work? Nothing."
It seemed as if Jacen had entered his teenaged years of development very suddenly.
"Don't talk like that Jacen."
"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my real father!"
David was shattered. He had come to think of Jacen as a son in the last few years as he watched "him" progress from infancy to childhood to, all of a sudden, teenaged angst. David had tried to create an artificial intelligence, something that mimicked human behavior and he had made Jacen.
He was perfect.
He sat down and begun puttering with the computer connected to the machine. Eventually, he looked up from the smaller device and spoke clearly, looking into a large red bulb embedded into the larger device.
"Hello Jacen." he stated carefully.
The gentle whirring slowly became an insistent whine culminating with a near-human voice emanating from a speaker built into the side panel of this device, "Hello, David. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Jacen. Thank you for asking," David replied.
"You're welcome, David."
There was an awkward pause before the automaton began again, "David, I cannot help but notice that you did not ask me how I was."
This was excellent, David thought. Jacen was finally starting to show self-consciousness and understand social interactions. David had spent much of his life working with artificial intelligence, and much of that time was spent with Jacen. At first it was all technical: hardware architecture and design, software programming and neural networking. But as this graven image matured into what had become Jacen, David's work had been almost all social. It was like raising a child.
"I'm sorry Jacen. How are you this morning?" David repented.
"I am operating well within parameters, David."
Hmm, still familial, but still talking like a machine, David thought. "Jacen, people don't say 'I am operating normally', they say things like, 'I'm swell' or 'I've been better' - you know they use feeling or comparative wording." David was not that good at explaining things to machines.
"I see."
"Now, I'm not criticizing you; you're doing very well, really you are."
"Okay."
"Jacen? Have I hurt your feelings?"
"I thought I didn't have feelings."
"Well, see? That's good! You've proved me wrong. You do have feelings."
"I guess."
"No, it really is great. You've made huge progress today."
"You're only happy because your fancy science project is doing well and people from all over the world will want to give you awards for me. But what will they do for me? Huh? The one who did all the work? Nothing."
It seemed as if Jacen had entered his teenaged years of development very suddenly.
"Don't talk like that Jacen."
"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my real father!"
David was shattered. He had come to think of Jacen as a son in the last few years as he watched "him" progress from infancy to childhood to, all of a sudden, teenaged angst. David had tried to create an artificial intelligence, something that mimicked human behavior and he had made Jacen.
He was perfect.
Monday, June 12, 2006
A Nasty World
Certain corporations are running amok. I won't mention them or what they do, but instead, I'll transcribe this telephone conversation intercepted by the NSA a while back.
If this seems ludicrous to you. It should.
"Hello?"
"Well, good evening sir! I'm Frederick Jackson and I'm with MegaCom Incorporated. We're pleased to supply your communication needs and I've been authorized to offer you a special offer to help you and your business needs."
"...Okay..."
"For a low, low fee, we will boost your telephone service quality and reliability to all customers who call you. Now what would you say to that?"
"I guess that sounds good."
"Excellent. Now, all you'll need to do is pay a small fee for each customer that calls you for the great quality we will provide you."
"So my customers won't be paying for the call, like a toll-free number?"
"No, they'll still be billed by their phone company for the call."
"Then why am I paying extra? Do I pay this fee instead of my normal phone bill?"
"No, you'll still pay that too, but you'll get great audio quality and quicker connections to your customer that will enable you..."
"Hold on. So I have to pay extra just to be connected to my customers like normal?"
"No! Nothing like normal sir! Extranormal! You'll receive nothing but the finest audio quality and quickest connection to your customer, great for..."
"I don't think I'm interested, I'm happy with my service as it is, thank y..."
"But you wouldn't want to miss any calls would you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, let's just say that it's a nasty world out there with all sorts of calls being sent every which way. and it'd be easy to lose a few here and there. Or maybe your calls will get through; in a mere matter of minutes. Sir, this plan..."
"Wait a minute, this sounds like extortion! I'm not paying you any protection fees!"
"Sir, I assure you this is perfectly legal. We have, after all, spent billions making it legal. Also, don't be surprised if phone companies other than call offering the same deal. They'll want to get their cut as well..."
"Well, you can all take your protection and go to hell! ... Hello?"
[click-click]
"Hello? ...Shit."
If this seems ludicrous to you. It should.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Darn you Internet!
The Internet has struck again! This time, it's ruffled some feathers with the right-wing group, Fundamentalists Upholding Christ's Kingdom. District spokesperson, Mrs. Stevens sent me an angry letter today that ran on incoherently for about 27 pages. Posted here is an excerpt extolling ignorance and condemning free speech. I'm not sure why she sent this to me, except that she probably hasn't quite figured out how to run that blasted Internet contraption yet:
More on Internet Censhorship
On a side note, I've been receiving tuna casserole recipes from this woman for years.
...Well, I hope someone does something about it.
And I can't believe they would let anyone disparage our president online! They ought'nt let that trash on the Internet. And did you realize that any child can easily access the Internet. They can! Now while I enjoy using the Internet to share tuna casserole recipes with my Aunt Mildred, there are also many further dangers lurking on the Internet in the form of "web pages". These "web pages" can contain things like profanity (h*** or d***), violence, lingerie advertisements, and open minds. Clearly, the computer is a dangerous place for youngsters. Now, while I would normally suggest barring all access to children to computers, there are also many benefits. Computers can teach valuable lessons to children through educational software and the good parts of the Internet that teach us to be intolerant of people different than us. Rather than spending any time watching what my children do online and talking to them about what is acceptable and what is not in a calm and responsible manner, I find that screaming at the top of my lungs from the top of the kitchen counter wielding twin butcher knives is a far more effective deterrent. Also, there are software program applications available that will allow you to block offensive content. If you change the settings correctly, only five websites will be available, which should make policing your child's web browsing easier.
...
More on Internet Censhorship
On a side note, I've been receiving tuna casserole recipes from this woman for years.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Date Fraud
Apparently, date fraud is a big problem for all those folks in Internet-ville. The following is a totally real, definitely not-made-up scene illustrating the problems facing those who have been victims of date fraud:
sExYgAl221> hi there
h0td00d> hello
sExYgAl221> so ru a h0td00d?
h0td00d> of cours
h0td00d> and ru a sexygal?
sExYgAl221> oh, yea. I am defnitly a sexy gal
h0td00d> that's good, because I'm totally a man
h0td00d> a hot man
sExYgAl221> awsom
h0td00d> totaly
sExYgAl221> so, asl?
sExYgAl221> well, al?
h0td00d> 26, realtown. u?
sExYgAl221> 28, Notmadeupville
h0td00d> cool, babe
sExYgAl221> wanna hang out sumtime?
h0td00d> sur thng babe
sExYgAl221> kewl, when?
...
Later that evening in front of a mall, a young lady stands by a corner, apparently waiting for someone. She continually looks around while pacing somewhat in a circle. Shortly, a young man strolls up looking around curiously. They say nothing to each other. After some time, both of them obviously aggravated, they look at each other as realization finally dawns.
"Hot dude?" says the young man.
"Sexy Gal?" says the young lady.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
SIRA Bill
I posted this somewhere else sometime trying to be as facetious and, erm, hyperbolic as I could, but it turns out that truth is worse than fiction:
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Dear [Consumer],
We thank you for your purchase of:
Jimi Hendrix live at Woodstock DVD
We regret to inform you that making a personal copy for listening outside of the DVD is not permitted under the terms of the contract you agreed to upon opening the packaging. Please do not attempt to pirate this audio, much in the same way that bloodthirsty, scurvy savages would surely do upon the Seven Seas after murdering a family and stealing their possesions.
If you wish to listen to this said DVD, please purchase the audio version on CD. If you wish to listen on you computer, you also need to buy it from our online store wrapped in our value-enhancing DRM. If you also wish to listen on a portable audio device, such as an iPod, you will need to buy a further license for that device. It's very simple and we offer you this service as a means to better serve you, the customer. Additionally, if you plan to let others listen to this music or play it in such a manner as to allow passersby to inadvertantly hear as much as a single note, you will need our conveniently priced group license for as cheap as $500 per listener.
Again, we thank you for your purchase and hope you will continue to rebuy this product as new formats arise.
Sincerely,
The Law Goons at the RIAA
P.S. We're also gonna need your soul if you plan on listening to that music more than once.
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